Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
