where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
