I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just high enough for therapy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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