He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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