Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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