He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
