doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
