That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize