i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
His nipple licking is glorious
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