why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
