Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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