we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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