Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
