What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
