Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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