Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
