Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You smell like stripper and shame
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
