I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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