Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
