No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
