he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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