if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
