Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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