That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
A+ Viking dick
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
