belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
