Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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