Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
