I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
