what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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