What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
