Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize