Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
