the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
