well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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