I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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