I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
