the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
