My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
