you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
