you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize