I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
