WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
