Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
