i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
