you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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