Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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