i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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