I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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