I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
