let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
