ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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