Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
