Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
