so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
