I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Sorry about my life...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
