at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
