i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
