apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
