if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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