when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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