I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
