wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
