all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
