i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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