we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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