Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
