physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
