So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize