just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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