I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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