Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
